Lowly Gillingham Football Club are drawn against Premiership giants Newcastle United in the quarter finals of the FA Cup. A small group of 'Gills' fans decide to make the most of their 'game of a lifetime' by turning the journey north into a weekend away. On the eve of departure one of the group receives a visit from Terry, a man with no legs in a wheelchair, claiming he can get them a free minibus and free diesel. In return, all they have to do is take him with them!

Eight haunted people meet and fall apart - looking for redemption in each other. Jim is throwing watermelons off his office roof. He's testing the effect for a possible suicide. But then there is Sue on an adjacent roof about to jump herself. They meet, delay their departure and set off searching for other ways out than down. Sue's ex-boyfriend, Dean, is struggling with his creativity. His paintings are getting panned and his poetry ripped apart. He needs a muse - and who better than Gina, the experimental prostitute with dodgy legs who lives next door. However, Dean soon finds out that Gina never does anything for free. After a short fling with Dean, Olly is lost in a world of sexual confusion when forced to look after his deaf-mute brother Chris for the day. Olly discovers that not only does Chris has gay feelings too, but is more comfortable with them than he is. They embark on a searing quest through Soho's gay community to help Chris loose his virginity...